ABC dating

ABC dating, let me set your minds from racing. Yes I'm still happily in a relationship with Simon and no we are not embarking on some sort of open relationship.

I heard about ABC dating from a friend at work and they way it works is, you go on a series of dates with your partner or friends working your way through the alphabet. So your first date could be afternoon tea and so on, but make sure you go through the alphabet - no skipping from A to G and then back to B. 

I mentioned this to Simon and I must admit he didn't really seem that keen to begin with but the deal is, if I think of a good enough date for each letter then we can do it, well that's a good enough yes for me. I can't wait to do this as I think it is such a great idea to get out and actually do something with your partner. 

I have also heard that you're meant to go on a date once every two weeks, so it takes you a year to go through the alphabet. But I think due to my circumstances of being in a long distance relationship, I won't being doing a alphabet date every two weeks that is for sure. 

I hope to blog about all of our dates but first I need to get thinking on what to do for A, as I don't think Simon will be up for afternoon tea. 

Has anyone heard of this / doing ABC dating themselves? I would love to hear from you and maybe get some inspiration for some dates.

A note to my younger self

Hi Soph, 

You've just turn 14 and I know you're thinking you're so grown up but let me cut to the chase, you've got a long way to go girl. 

Let me start with something that I know is consuming your life at the moment, boys or one particular boy in fact. Yeah so that guy at school, you think he's amazing and although he is probably good for someone, that someone is not you. Do you think it's OK for him to say he likes you, to ask you out and then dump you a week or two later? Let me tell you, it's not OK and one day soon you're going to realise that. It's OK though because you will meet someone who really is amazing. You will meet him at university, yes you go to university - fancy that. You'll see him around class for the first couple of years but it's not until your last year that you get close to him. Sorry you have to wait so long to meet a nice guy like him, but don't worry he's worth it. 

So university, you never ever thought you would go but you do go, to Portsmouth in fact and it will be three of the best years of your life. You'll meet some amazing friends and as I said above, you'll meet an amazing guy. But if there is something I've learnt being my 23 year old self, is that you really do need to try harder. Try hard in everything you do because you may even surprise yourself. 

Lastly, I want you to cherish your family because they will always be there for you. You never know what's around the corner, so please take to time to call and visit your loved ones.

My silence explained

Sorry for my lack of blogging recently but a couple of weeks ago one of my cats went missing...

One Saturday a few weeks back I let Wooly, his brother Alfie and his mum Daisy out in the morning to roam around our garden. Wooly came back a few hours later for some food and chilled around the house for a bit. I then made myself some lunch before I had to leave for my hair appointment, as soon as I opened the tin of tuna I was immediately surrounded by my three cats, they LOVE tuna or FISSSSHHHH as they recognise it. I gave them a couple of teaspoons each and they all gobbled it up so fast. Wooly finished first (this was pretty standard), he then headed towards our back door licking his whiskers as he went, this was the last time I saw him alive.

I went to have my hair done and came back to pick my boyfriend up as we were travelling down to Winchester to have dinner with my uni friends and stay at their flat. I got back Sunday evening to find Alfie curled up on the sofa, with Daisy on the chair. "Where's Wooly Bear?" I said to my mum. "He hasn't come home since yesterday afternoon," she replied.

Now I always worry about my cats, even if I haven't seen them in a few hours, I worry where they are and if they're OK. I must have called for him about a hundred times over the next few days. My mum even walked up and down our road to see if she could find him. But nothing had prepared me for what we found out next.

It was on the Tuesday after the weekend when my Mum suggested that we call the vets, well I hadn't even thought about checking there, it just didn't even enter my mind. Stupid I know. Maybe it's because I really believed he would come back. So I called the vets to check if someone had brought in a lost cat, when the girl at the other end of the phone confirmed that a cat matching Wooly's description had been taken in but was sadly dead on arrival. My heart immediately sank but I still had a glimmer of hope that it wasn't him, so I asked her if she could check his lip for a scar he recently got in a fight. She said she would check and call me back. After 15 minutes I couldn't wait any longer so my mum and I decided to go up to the vets to check ourselves. We took some blankets and a bag just in case it was him.

We arrived at the vets and the girl who I had spoken to on the phone said she would go and get him out of the freezer so we could check ourselves. My mum was convinced it wasn't going to be him and thought it would be his father who we saw in our garden occasionally. We went into one of the rooms where she laid the cat on the table, she pulled back to towel to reveal his face and my world came crashing down. It was him. I could tell because I could see the scar on his lip that I asked the girl at reception to check for. He wasn't crushed in any way but his eyes were open and glazed over, which I have now learnt that his eyes being open suggests he died quickly. I hope this is true because this makes it seem more bearable.

We took him home and buried him in the garden and planted a rose bush on top. He was such a great cat and such a character, he made me smile every time I saw him and made me soo much happier. I really don't care if anyone slates this post and says he 'was just a cat' but I guess if you think that you won't have read this to the end anyway. It was truley heart breaking and I will never forget him. I am just so glad that we know what happened to him even though it was the worse possible scenario. So thank you to the mother with her baby (whoever you are) who stopped and picked my Wooly Bear up, at least now he's resting in peace.

1. Wooly a couple of hours old. 2. Wooly a couple of months old. 

3. Wooly chilling on my stairs. 4. Wooly a couple of months before he died.